Every day is wonder why...? Why is this happening to me?
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| I feel so lost... |
and I don't know what to do about it. no one knows, sees or understands it.... but I feel it.
I don't know who I am and what I want.
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| Sometimes I'm happy... |
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...sometimes I'm hyper |
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| but mostly I'm sad |
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| depressed, |
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| suicidal.. |
I do what you want me to do,
I act the way you do,
I dress like you want me to,
I like whatever you like.
'cause I don't even know what I really want or like.
What the fuck am I?
So please don't leave me, as you see I cannot live without you. Without you I am nothing, lost and empty inside. 'casue of the problems whit my disease, no one wonts to be my friend.
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| I am so lonely. |
"Everyone I know goes away in the end."
'Casue sometimes I adore you, but five seconds later I con disgust you.
Why are you perfect and why am I not?
It makes me desperate. I stuck on myself and I feel caged. There is nothing left for me in this selfish world.
Time to go.
Time to say goodbye.
Farewell I'm sorry.
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| This is where I'm coming from. |
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| And this is where I'm going to. |
I tired many things to kill myself. None worked. I am still here. Even more I tried to get better but nothing really helps.And so times so goes by. Everyday I feel more helpless, useless and wasted. And so feel everyone around me about me. There's nothing left for me.
I cry all day. I cut every day. Deeper.. deeper..
I don't want to see anyone. I don't trust them people. They all leave me behind. To forget about the inner pain I used to take drugs and alcohol.
Cutting myself too, I'm a big wound now. But that only got it worse. Now I'm an addict as well. Locked in my pain that is burning inside of me. All I can do is waiting for help and holding on.
One day I'll be fine. I will be better.
bbpony
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