Diary of a Schizophrenic ~part 1.~

I'm scared of myself 'cause I hear voices in my head,
Telling me when I'm wrong, saying I should be dead,
The voices question my sanity until even I think I'm crazy
They tell me that I'm all alone, that no one stands by me,
They say I'm unwanted and feed on my fears,
They claim that when I cry no one sees or hears my tears,
That no one cares when I cry,
That no one will miss me when I die
When I'm angry or sad, they whisper in my ear
To eliminate the source of my pain, but I choose not to hear
Because I don't want to hurt anyone, to kill,
So then they tell me I should die, but I live through sheer will,
Hope that one day I'll wake up and the voices will be gone,
But I don't see how - they've been with me so long,
Questioning everything about me 'til I think I'm the worst,
Saying that the worst day in history was the day of my birth
The voices hurt me mentally, emotionally,
Sometimes they even hurt me physically
It's hard to live with them, to share my mind,
To feel like my brain isn't even mine,
To fight them off, to hold them at bay,
To try and be normal, push those voices away
I know I could tell someone, ask for help from them,
But that may prove to be a bit of a problem -
They may lock me up, calling me "crazy",
Tell me that I'm insane, a danger to me,
So I'll keep it inside, keep this secret shut away,
And keep on trying to live my life everyday
'Cause I'm not insane, I know what this is:
The only thing wrong with me is that I'm schizophrenic.

bb pony